


a blinding light on half a shadow

by peppersnot



Category: Free!
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, so much fluff tho it chokes me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 06:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2611286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peppersnot/pseuds/peppersnot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their first kiss isn't as important as the million of other moments they shared.</p><p>Alternately: the first times of a relationship nobody really thinks about</p>
            </blockquote>





	a blinding light on half a shadow

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the day 1 prompt for rinharuweek. i don't really wanna participate tbh i just wanna use the prompts for myself when i feel like hahaha....i feel like for every ship, the 'firsts' fic is somehow always about first kisses/sexy times even though there is so much more to a relationship than that, so yes here we are

**one. the first time you hang out together in silence and realize how okay with the lack of conversation you are**

Rin looked up from his game. Haru was on the other sofa, legs stretched out onto the coffee table, reading a book about animation and digital art – Haru’s new hobby. Haru was really,  _really_  good at art, and Rin couldn’t even count the number of doodles he’d seen scribbled in the blank pages of random notebooks lying around their apartment. He was secretly proud that he was Haru’s muse. All the doodles featured him. Whether Haru was trying out colours, anatomy, some kind of cartooning style, it had always been Rin’s face he tried out first, and Rin was immensely happy about that.

He stretched a leg out to meet Haru’s. Haru didn’t look up, but moved his foot closer to Rin’s, so their toes were barely brushing. He turned a page, and when Rin nudged his foot, he nudged right back.

Rin turned back to his game as Haru turned another page, thinking about how weird it was that he was sitting here, doing his own thing, while Haru sat their doing  _his_  own thing, both aware of each other’s presence, and yet, didn’t feel like it was necessary to break the silence. There was no need to talk, no need to say anything. Haru didn’t even  _look_  at him.

Smiling to himself, Rin watched the game count down to resume and immersed himself in trying to beat Haru’s high score at the dumb mermaid game.

**two. the first time you realize that you like this person so much more than you ever liked anyone else**

Haru, Rin decided, was the most frustrating person in the world. He had that weird mackerel thing going on, and the whole ‘the water is alive’ bullshit to spout at the most annoying times, and he almost never carried his phone around, was  _never_  available when you needed him. And he took the longest baths, which  _always_  made Rin late for his practices.

He kicked the bathroom door three times consecutively. “Fuck you, Haru! I need to get ready!”

“The door’s open.” Haru’s voice drifted through the door and Rin blinked in surprise when he tried the handle and it turned. Oh. Haru gave him an annoyed look as he entered. “You didn’t have to be so rude, you know.”

“Well, how was I to know it was open?” Rin shot back and picked up his toothbrush. “You normally lock it!”

“No, I don’t,” Haru said. “Not when I’m wearing my jammers.”

“You’re wearing your jammers?”

“No.”

Rin snorted and turned back to the sink. Haru watched as he brushed his teeth and washed his face, shaking his head when he was done, making the water droplets fly. He walked over to the bathtub and Haru instinctively drew his legs in. Rin laughed at him. “It’s just  _me_.”

“I know that.” Haru rolled his eyes and pulled him down to press a kiss against his cheek. “Good luck at practice.”

Rin nodded, and he felt his chest swell when Haru gave him a smile. Haru was the most frustrating person in the world, with his obsessions and quirks and the way he just made Rin super moody – but Rin was so in love; he liked Haru so much, despite everything about him, it drove Rin insane.

**three. the first time you’re completely naked with them and you don’t feel insecure at all**

“It’s hot,” Haru said, and, as if being completely shirtless wasn’t enough, kicked off his pants as well. Rin rolled his eyes and could only be thankful he hadn’t also decided to take off his underwear, because who knows what  _that_  could have led to.

He yelled when Haru dumped all the blankets on top of him, and it took him a while to untangle himself from the sheets to be able to throw them off. It really  _was_ hot, and Rin didn’t blame Haru for wanting to strip at all. His shirt was sticking to his back and it was getting really uncomfortable, even with the fan pointed at them, and the air conditioner running. Haru tugged at the sleeve of his shirt.

“Take it off.”

Rin complied, throwing it across the room and after a few seconds’ contemplation, his pants as well. This was so weird, he thought. They were lying in bed with nothing on but their boxers, and yet there was nothing remotely sexual about the situation. Rin didn’t feel like hiding his body, didn’t think about what Haru would think of him being like this, didn’t think about anything but the fact that it wasn’t as hot as it was, and that Haru was lying next to him, eyes closed, trying to sleep.

Rin smiled and shifted a little closer, kicking the blankets off the bed, and drifting off to the lull of the fan, and Haru’s breathing.

**four. the first time you notice that you’re more yourself with this person than with anyone else**

Haru was the only one who knew about his obsession with romantic comedies. Everyone had sort of guessed that he watched them, and Rin had always fervently denied it, so nobody could ever be completely sure. He didn’t have DVDs and he never watched it when it was playing on TV, because all the commercial breaks were really annoying. But he had his laptop, and he had the option to stream what were, according to Haru, his dumb dramas. Which is what he did.

He shut the lid of the laptop and went to the bedroom, where Haru was drying his hair. Haru jumped as he slammed open the door and watched him in surprise and confusion when he went to the bed and threw himself face first onto the mattress.

“Are you okay?” Haru asked, cautiously.

“No.”

“Is this about that dumb drama you were watching?”

“It’s not  _dumb_ ,” Rin said, voice muffled. He sat up and glared at Haru. “Everyone is so angst-y and stupid, why don’t they just get together already?”

“Um.”

“Why do people do that stupid thing where they ‘sacrifice’ their love because they don’t think they’re deserving or whatever?!” He yelled. “Makino is so stupid, Domyouji is so stupid. Everyone is stupid. I hate this show. I love this show.”

Haru rolled his eyes and threw the damp towel at him. “Today is mackerel day.”

It didn’t occur to Rin that he was probably acting really dumb and stupid, until a few minutes later, when he realized that when Gou did this in front of his mother, she looked slightly concerned and asked her to take up other hobbies.

**five. the first time you tell them your biggest, darkest secret**

Rin didn’t tell Haru about his  _thing_  until when, for what was probably the fifth or sixth time in this apartment, Haru had him pinned naked against the bed sheets, both extremely desperate and extremely turned on.

“I have complexes,” he breathed out. “I feel like I’m not good enough for you, and that you’re way too hot to be with someone like me. Besides, you’re also into girls, so you should be with a girl, who can give you babies and – ”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Haru interrupted and Rin paused, face (and body) flushed.

 “I don’t know why you’re with someone like me, Haru,” Rin told him, completely serious and still extremely turned on. He bit back a groan when Haru raised an eyebrow and rolled his hips down against Rin’s. “I – I’m all loud and weird and I annoy you so much and - ”

“Rin,” Haru said. “I like you  _because_  you’re annoying and loud and weird, in that way that only you can pull off. I wouldn’t want anyone else. Shut up. You’re ruining the mood. I wouldn’t be doing this with you – I wouldn’t have done this with you before – if you didn’t mean everything to me.”

Rin blinked, eyes starting to water as he looked up at Haru looming over him. He hadn’t seen that face on Haru before. A mixture of lust and love and frustration. He pulled Haru down and kissed him shyly.

“I love you,” he said. “And I think it’s really surreal that you’re actually with  _me_ and not someone else like, I don’t know,  _Gou_  or – ”

“What the fuck, don’t mention your sister,” Haru mumbled, scowling and then leaning down to pepper his neck and collarbones with light, fleeting kisses. “Stop trying to turn me off. I’m going to have sex with you now, if you’re done saying your nonsense, because I love you, so will you please shut up?”

Rin nodded slowly and Haru smiled. “Honestly, I think I like you even more, now that I know you think I’m that special and deserving.”

Scowling, Rin pinched his shoulder, and gasped when Haru’s hand traveled down between his legs, even as he laughed softly under his breath.

Later, when he was almost asleep, he was distinctly aware of Haru kissing the back of his neck, pushing the strands of red hair away, only barely registering the whisper of, “I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you, Rin.”

**six. the first time you spend a week apart and the act of missing them isn’t a life-ruining experience**

Their relationship had  _got_  to be healthy, Rin thought as he threw himself on the hotel bed. It was nine thirty p.m, Paris time. Why was he here? To use that dumb prize he’d won in that game thing. A week long, all expenses paid trip to France. Was he happy he was here? Not as much as he’d thought. Did he have fun? Yeah, somewhat. Did he regret coming? Not really. Did he want to go home? Oh, hell yes.

He missed Haru. He really,  _really_  missed Haru. But somehow, this wasn’t like it had been back when he’d left for Australia. He wasn’t pining over Haru. He wasn’t staring at the phone, wondering if calling him now would make him appear too clingy, since his flight back was tomorrow anyway. He wasn’t staring at the picture he had of them as his phone wallpaper. He was lying in bed, thinking of Haru, but also of other things. Missing Haru was making him sad, but it was a fun kind of sad, that he wouldn’t really  _want_  to experience again, but wouldn’t mind if he had to.

He did hug Haru when he got off the eleven hour long flight at Narita. He  _did_  kiss him deeply when they closed the door of their apartment behind them, and he  _definitely_  had mind-blowing sex the next day, when he’d sort of worn off the jetlag. But he liked the fact that he missed Haru, and as he watched Haru sleep, one arm thrown over Rin’s back, he thought he actually  _liked_  missing Haru, because he knew he’d come back to that impassive and yet always smiling face. Missing Haru was nice, he decided, but being  _with_  Haru was nicer.

**seven. the first time you look at them and understand why people would want to get married**

“You should marry me some day,” Haru said seriously, as he sat with his feet in Rin’s lap, a bowl of crab soup in his hands. Rin had gotten used to his off-hand, random comments, and barely reacted to them anymore, but this was definitely new. He cursed when some of the soup he’d been lifting up to his mouth dripped onto his shirt and snatched the tissues that Haru held out to him, as if it was  _his_  fault his shirt had gotten dirty.

It was Haru’s fault. Kind of.

“Do you even know what you said?” He shot back, and cursed again when the shirt stuck to his skin, making it burn slightly.

“Obviously.” Haru rolled his eyes. “I’m twenty three, I know what it means to get married.”

Rin looked over at his boyfriend, taking in that dumb expression, the fact that he was eating  _crab_  soup of all things, that stupid Iwatobi-chan T-shirt that he refused to get rid off and burst into laughter. Haru looked slightly offended that he found the whole situation so amusing.

“Haru,” Rin said, patting his thigh. “Come here.”

A little skeptical, Haru set his soup down and came to sit in Rin’s lap. Rin kissed him. His cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his lips, his hands – every part of him he could.

“If I had to promise something as crazy as forever, babe, it’d be with you.”

Haru smiled and kissed him back.

**eight. the first time you realize you know them so well they’re like an extension of you**

Had Sousuke not known about his and Haru’s relationship, he would have told Rin that he was some sort of super fucking creepy stalker. And Rin did not question that. Because now, looking back at the long-ass conversation he’d had over the phone, he probably  _did_  sound like a stalker. A boyfriend stalker, if such a thing was possible of him.

“Why the fuck do you know Nanase’s entire fucking daily routine,” Sousuke said, tone implying that it was a statement more than a question and that made Rin pause, unsure of how to answer.

“I live with him, that’s why,” he finally said and frowned when he heard Sousuke snort over the phone.

“I live with my parents, dude,” he said. “I don’t know what they’re doing, every waking moment of the day, and I especially do not know if they’d be at Burger King right now or not.”

“He’d never  _ever_  be at Burger King,” Rin told him. “And you’re not in a relationship with your parents. Why do you even live with your parents at this age?”

“Because having my own place means money and I’m doing good without that added stress, thank you. My flight to Tokyo is in a week by the way.” Rin could hear the tingling of bells – an indication that a customer had entered the shop. He heard Sousuke cheerfully greet them before lowering his voice to resume their conversation. “What do you think I should get Nanase?”

“Since when you get gifts for Haru?”

“Well, obviously since you and he became one of those old married couples you see on T.V. But answer the question.”

“I don’t know, something dumb like dolphin printed pajamas. In blue, with absolutely no other colour of any shade on it, except maybe black or purple.”

“Why do you know the specifics and what the fuck,” Sousuke muttered. “Okay hey, I gotta go, talk later.”

Rin hadn’t even said goodbye when the line got cut off and now, as he lay in bed in the darkness, Haru poked his arm.

“Rin.”

“What?”

“I need new pajamas.”

Rin snorted.

**nine. the first time you see someone attractive but it doesn’t phase you like it used to**

For Rin, seeing someone attractive meant trouble. Not for him – well, actually, yes, mostly for him, but also regarding Haru.

Haru, unlike Rin, also liked girls, which meant that pretty guys were not the only people Rin had to be wary of, but also pretty girls. And given someone like Haru – tall, dark and handsome – it was a guarantee that he would attract all kinds of people – pretty people included.

Which is why when they had first started dating, Rin had been constantly fighting his jealousy, unable to bear it when Haru was with other people – even if doing something as insignificant as  _talking_.

It was a surprise, although maybe, he thought, not entirely a surprise, when four years into their relationship, after they’d made it to the finals of a swim tournament, he did not feel an inkling of discomfort at the sight of Haru talking to pretty, busty girls. He saw them approach Haru, watched them lean in too close, watched Haru step back at every step they took towards him, and only shook his head as he made his way towards the locker rooms. Haru could catch up to him later. Haru could deal with his problems  _all_  by himself.

**ten. the first time you realize you are with someone who loves you as much as you love them**

Rin blinked in surprise. His bottom lip was lathered in chocolate frosting and Haru was looking extremely amused. There was nothing amusing about smothering your boyfriend’s face with chocolate and Rin was just about to open his mouth to voice that thought when Haru licked the icing off, leaving Rin feeling all tingly.

“Don’t you think,” he trailed off, getting distracted as he took Rin’s hand and put his own against it. Rin’s was a little bigger, and his fingers were slightly thicker.

“Don’t I think what?”

“Don’t you think about how much you love me?”

Rin snorted. “Pretty self-centered, aren’t you?”

Haru rolled his eyes and put Rin’s hand on his shoulder, picking up the other and doing the same with it. “You  _do_  love me.”

“Yeah, I do. So?”

“So nothing. I love you too.”

Rin blinked again and laughed. He held up a hand. “We’re the lovebirds. High five.”

Haru snorted and high-fived him halfheartedly, as if doing so was just so much effort, then scrambled off his lap and made his way to the kitchen. “It’s kimchi day.”

Rin leaned back against the sofa and decided his life was completely perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted on tumblr@candylit


End file.
